2018 and what i left behind in 2017


2017 was truly one of my better years.

It started with closing up all the loose ends from 2014 up to 2016. I transferred universities and got accepted into a new program, I saved enough money to finally feel financially stable on my own, I let go of a few toxic relationships and made new ones that gave me unfamiliar but constructive perspectives on life. I learned what it was like to be more independent and strive for goals and dreams based on my own account.

When each piece of my life-building puzzle snapped into place, I also learned that I couldn’t ignore the small gaps in between the puzzle pieces. These gaps, my unresolved issues, have been building up over the years. Emotionally straining issues from past events and beliefs that I held about myself became an uphill battle to overcome by the end of 2017.

In 2018, I’m going to work on improving my mental health.

I struggle with feeling worthless, disappointing, lonely, unloved, and a little bit crazy. I cover up these feelings by ignoring them and focusing on the things that I can control instead, such as my hair (I dye it often), my grades, and going on social suicide rampages. Sometimes, on better days, none of these issues bother me, and I’m usually very motivated and optimistic. When something slightly negative happens, the anxiety is overwhelming and can send me straight into a downward spiral. I’ll get a bad mark on a test, cry about it, call myself a failure, and become a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure from then on. I need to change this, I know, and 2018 will be the year that I do.

So, these are my goals for the new year:

  • to get good grades (B and higher) for all of my second-semester classes
  • to adopt a healthier diet and exercise more; reach my goal weight of 120 lbs
  • to publish my first book by the end of the year
  • to write on my blog at least once a week; to write more positively
  • to travel more and say yes to new opportunities
  • to learn a new skill or to join a new class
  • to stop over-dying my hair
  • to volunteer whenever I can
  • to get my G2 license
  • to read 6 or more new books this year
  • to make some new friends and branch out from my current friend group
  • to enhance my marketing and career development skills
  • to take one or two certification courses
  • go to three new concerts this year
  • start and finish a visual journal
  • wake up earlier; to stop sleeping in

And there you have it, my goals for 2018. What are yours?

Marti

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